Two nights ago, I learnt a new perspective on friendship. I always thought that I am a good person when dealing with friends and that I have a good interpersonal skill so that people loves to make friends with me; but a question from my kakak, who prefers to be referred as inang, really struck me in the head and heart. “One could be proven as a friendship person when he/she has a lot of same-gender-friends. Now, are you that kind of person? You are not proven yet.” She said this because she knows I have a lot of female friends than male friends.
I’ve been known as a “ladies’ man.” My mom and aunts used to tell me that I love to be surrounded by beautiful, charming, pretty women since I was a baby. When I cried in the hospital, I would cried harder if an old-fat nurse came to nurture me, but I will suddenly stop crying when a young, pretty nurse handled me. When I heard the story, I always found it funny and somehow I felt proud of myself being such a playboy kind. As I grew up, the fact that I naturally get along better with girls than with boys, finally annoyed me.
Since elementary school, I’ve been hanging around with many girls and boys, but somehow, I only managed friendship with the girls rather than the boys. Being among girls for about six years of elementary school really gave me an effect, a bad one to be exact. When I entered junior-high school, people started to call me a sissy because my gesture, action, reaction, and the way I talk was really like a girl. I realized that it was the influence of hanging around to much with girls. I off course felt hurt, sad, and depressed because people gave me a nickname sissy. It all happened throughout my junior-high year’s dude! How could one not feel depressed? Although I realized I had to change that image, it was not as easy as turning your palm upside down.
Since I was little, I get along better with my mom than with my dad. I also have a lot of women and girls surrounding me during my kindergarten and elementary years. Now, after 12 years influenced by girls I have to change many things in one night? Do you think it’s possible? FYI, I’m still dealing with some part of it even until now! Gosh…
Now, I’ve graduated from junior high for about six years. Many have happened in my life throughout these past six years. Friends have come and gone. Often, I learn through the hardest way. I’ve created enemies; I’ve created bad reputation for my future reference. Many have happened and some I’m still struggling with, yet there I was, being told about friendship perspective I’ve never heard before. It has become a challenge for me to prove that I’m a friendship person.
Why does having same-gender friends account how friendship you are? This is how. When you’re dealing with a same gender person within your age as your friend, there are certain rules on attitude and behavior to make your same-gender friends feel comfortable and secure. That’s why the number of your same-gender friends account your level of friendship.
There are things guys don’t talk with girls and the vice versa. I always thought that making girls feel secure and comfortable whenever they’re around me would advantage me and give some kind of privileges: to get to know girl’s personality, problems, behavior, and way of thinking. But, is it a good sign when girl share their period problems with his guy friend? Or when you could see a little bit of her thighs or breasts when her sitting position was not good and she does not even care or felt embarrassed; is it a good sign?
After having some thoughts (off course I take a little advantage of the view, though I tell her that she needs to reposition her posture or dress), making girls feel too secure and too comfortable around you (if you’re a guy) is not a good idea at all. How does she see you then? What does she think about you after all? Does she still look at you as a man? What about your reputation as a guy? Situation and condition off course applies to some style of friendship. But still, the preceding are logical questions to be asked as contemplation.
It is true that I haven’t found a real friend of my same-gender, or even best friends. All I have are same-gender acquaintance, classmates, college mates, etc., whom I never share my personal matters. I consider my kakak’s challenge as a quest for me since I’ve been also longing to have that kind of friend.
Are you a friendship person? Prove yourself. Show me how many same-gender best friends you’ve got…
I’ve been known as a “ladies’ man.” My mom and aunts used to tell me that I love to be surrounded by beautiful, charming, pretty women since I was a baby. When I cried in the hospital, I would cried harder if an old-fat nurse came to nurture me, but I will suddenly stop crying when a young, pretty nurse handled me. When I heard the story, I always found it funny and somehow I felt proud of myself being such a playboy kind. As I grew up, the fact that I naturally get along better with girls than with boys, finally annoyed me.
Since elementary school, I’ve been hanging around with many girls and boys, but somehow, I only managed friendship with the girls rather than the boys. Being among girls for about six years of elementary school really gave me an effect, a bad one to be exact. When I entered junior-high school, people started to call me a sissy because my gesture, action, reaction, and the way I talk was really like a girl. I realized that it was the influence of hanging around to much with girls. I off course felt hurt, sad, and depressed because people gave me a nickname sissy. It all happened throughout my junior-high year’s dude! How could one not feel depressed? Although I realized I had to change that image, it was not as easy as turning your palm upside down.
Since I was little, I get along better with my mom than with my dad. I also have a lot of women and girls surrounding me during my kindergarten and elementary years. Now, after 12 years influenced by girls I have to change many things in one night? Do you think it’s possible? FYI, I’m still dealing with some part of it even until now! Gosh…
Now, I’ve graduated from junior high for about six years. Many have happened in my life throughout these past six years. Friends have come and gone. Often, I learn through the hardest way. I’ve created enemies; I’ve created bad reputation for my future reference. Many have happened and some I’m still struggling with, yet there I was, being told about friendship perspective I’ve never heard before. It has become a challenge for me to prove that I’m a friendship person.
Why does having same-gender friends account how friendship you are? This is how. When you’re dealing with a same gender person within your age as your friend, there are certain rules on attitude and behavior to make your same-gender friends feel comfortable and secure. That’s why the number of your same-gender friends account your level of friendship.
There are things guys don’t talk with girls and the vice versa. I always thought that making girls feel secure and comfortable whenever they’re around me would advantage me and give some kind of privileges: to get to know girl’s personality, problems, behavior, and way of thinking. But, is it a good sign when girl share their period problems with his guy friend? Or when you could see a little bit of her thighs or breasts when her sitting position was not good and she does not even care or felt embarrassed; is it a good sign?
After having some thoughts (off course I take a little advantage of the view, though I tell her that she needs to reposition her posture or dress), making girls feel too secure and too comfortable around you (if you’re a guy) is not a good idea at all. How does she see you then? What does she think about you after all? Does she still look at you as a man? What about your reputation as a guy? Situation and condition off course applies to some style of friendship. But still, the preceding are logical questions to be asked as contemplation.
It is true that I haven’t found a real friend of my same-gender, or even best friends. All I have are same-gender acquaintance, classmates, college mates, etc., whom I never share my personal matters. I consider my kakak’s challenge as a quest for me since I’ve been also longing to have that kind of friend.
Are you a friendship person? Prove yourself. Show me how many same-gender best friends you’ve got…
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