A Change... To Wait For or To Make?

People keep talking about a change in life... Some says they're waiting... Some says they're making... Some says they're blank and I'm one of those blanky mind. I feel stuck right now and I realize that I need a change to make life becomes more interesting, more challenging, more fun, and more worthy.

Fortunately, I still have friends, oh yes Thank God I do... ranging from the best until acquaintance... (I've put all those hypocrites back-stabbers behind). Friends who always there when I need them, even without me asking, Friends who listen when I need to talk, who call when they feel I'm not in a good situation, who talk for hours while I'm listening to help me get some distraction, who gives me advice and solution when they know I'm in trouble. The crowd is there, but I often feel empty and alone, if not lonely.

That empty and alone sense have turned me, since I-don't-know-when, into an unmotivated person, which portrayed as being lazy to most people and that I often procrastinating, even on my very important task: final paper a.k.a thesis (skripsi). Sigh... Yap.. I'm that tired... that bored with my current life...

I always thought that maybe... MAYBE... if I have someone special, someone who I could share my life with, someone who wants to work things out instead of complaining, nagging, b**ching, or playing around; I would be happier, I would be better motivated to take actions in my life... But, that wishful thinking has never been fulfilled up 'til now... and I'm an inch away from giving up in hoping and expecting. I grew tired already to chase, to make moves and to found out in the end that it didn't mean a thing for the chasee.

Sigh... I will definitely dragging myself to work on my final paper starting tomorrow... becoming an autistic with my books, journals, laptop, questionnaires and SPSS.. really need to buy stocks of Carribean Nut Latte or perhaps I should rent a space to live at Starbucks... since they have better latte than the one I mentioned just now...

To that someone special, I can only wait now.. as I mentioned in my previous post.. I'm not going anywhere.. just here, waiting for you.. and I do hope you take easy way to get here, not the complicated, full with turns or roundabouts.... but, yeah.. I'm not complaining.. as long as you're here... I'll be waiting...