Learning from the Card

I was actually very stunned after my friend told me what the cards read about my soul situation. I couldn't believe the card was somewhat accurate.

I remember most what the second card said (according to my friend), "Your task now is to love yourself and gather your self-esteem back in order to forgive and forget things from the past that hurt you in present situation."

For three years I've been sincerely begging for forgiveness and seeking for reconciliation. For three years I've let myself been hurt. For three years I've been hoping that a good relationship can be maintained. For three years I've tried to gain back trust. Yet the outcome was still harsh and irreligious from people who seemed to be religious.

I had been hoping for a reconciliation and a good relationship (although it didn't have to be as good as before) until I really realized that my gesture did not get any warm reply. I hoped too high, perhaps. I have decided not to put anymore effort in turning everything back. Reality hits me: it's beyond my control.

On the day before my friend read me his cards, I have decided to let everything to just happened and be as what it is. I said to myself: no more!! I don't want to be such a stupid person who lets past shadows my future. Everything is put and I will let it be. That's my definition of letting go.

I decided to stop my gesture because I want people to realize that I'm not fighting them. I'm not a person who likes to fight with others, and I'm sure my true friends understand this; that I always look for peace in solving any problems unless someone attack or intimidate me. In terms of confrontation, I always try to put effort in solving things peacefully by fully surrender to what has been ordained to me if I believe objective discussion is not possible at all. Yet people still question my sincere motive and misinterpret acts of wisdom and maturity as being gutless.

Since few months ago I have decided to stop being a stupid beggar and to let everything flows naturally. It is what it is. Let by gone be by gone. May only the fond memories stays in my heart and not the hard feelings.