Torn apart...

Hey Champ..

Have you ever been in a situation where you have to make a choice between two great opportunities and yet you can't even decide 'coz you know only weighing the pros and cons while in the end they score the same? Moreover, you are forced to take immediate actions since you have time limit. Nonetheless, you got an advice from a friend who could see things, providing you help in making the decision, yet you still don't know what to decide.

Mr. B (if you can recall from my previous story titled "Pleaded: Guilty") today during a meeting break told me that; in making such decision, I've got to be able to answer his question first "What is your objective in life? What is your dream?" He said that I gotta have to find my own dream and try to make it true before it's too late when I realize that I'm actually not living my dream. Sounds cliche, uh? Not really though. It really hit me really hard. He then shared that he failed to follow his dream to be a fisherman in Japan and that somehow he regretted it. He believed that in his previous life he was a fisherman, which what he should had been continue doing now.

He told me that every person actually already has a dream deep inside himself, only one needs to find it and aim to live it. He pointed at one spot faraway from where we stand at the 27th floor and said that, "you may want to reach that spot right there, but, you gotta decide which way you wanna go, 'coz as you can see from down below, there are so many ways you can take which in the end lead to that very spot."

Yes, I haven't been able to answer his very first two question up until now. In my resume, I always write that my objective is to contribute to the company as much as I can and gain experiences as many as I can for my future. But I believe it's no longer valid for my situation: a person who almost graduate from his university and start building his future. Yes, how do I wanna see in myself in 5-10 years from now? What is my ultimate dream? What do I wanna do in reaching that dream? I can't only work here and there every once in a while.. I gotta start to think wisely and step on a stable surface for my better future...

Meanwhile, I'm still facing my daily-simple-troubles-but-when-you-pile-it-up-it's-gonna-explode-your-head-as-if-you're-having-one-huge,serious-problem. Yes.. to start with, my current freelance work is being prolonged for two weeks. For this, I gotta handle job desc. from my two other colleagues since my boz could only afford prolonging one person and the only person available is me. I'm not saying I don't want it, I just wish I get a better compensation other than only being paid (hahaha.. greedy me.. can I be blamed for that? I don't think so. It's my prerogative. No? LoL).

Furthermore, I need to prepare documents to make a new passport since I'm having a trip outside Indonesia in one week and my deadline to extend my passport would be today. I didn't realize my passport is going to expired in one month. Gosh... who would pay attention to passport's expiry date when you don't travel abroad that often? Gosh... I'm so thankful to my colleague's network that she's able to find someone in the business who could help me renew my passport without much hassle.

One more thing, I gotta clear all my belongings from my wardrobe/closet/drawer/cabinet since the carpenters are going to knock it down and turn it into a new wardrobe and bed frame. The pressure is, by the time I leave the house in the morning, it has to be empty. Sigh.. if only I was given this information few days ago or at least early this week instead of at 10.30 PM this night, I won't be so bad tempered in handling the task.

I was soooooooo much troubled and tired with all my problems that I grew unhappy. When I'm unhappy, I eat alot. I ate more than usual this night. A piece of chicken thigh, 2 small pieces of boiled chicken breast fillet, a piece of small fish, with a small bowl of traditional chilli sauce. To topped it off, since I'm still stressed and unhappy, I ate a place of rice (can u imagine? eating rice at 11 PM?) with soy sauce and looooootttsssssss of fried onions.... (hhhhhhaaaaaahhhhhh.... here, smell my breath... hahaha).

Sigh... very tired.. indeed, I am...

Gotta go now, Champ

you know I love you,

xoxo,

Cho

ps. junior consultant or business development? which one?