Happiness

Hey Champ...
I betcha life has been treating u well.. Coz I found out that lately I'm living a life that makes me feel whole and content.

I finally found a true friendship, a kind that I've never had before. I've never imagine that I would be able to have that kind of relationship (re: friendship). What people say that a good friend is hard to find is completely, really-really true. Now that I've found it, I will nurture it as much as I could; with my whole heart, giving my loyalty to the friend who is loyal to me, accepting me the way I am, who are also a good influencer; helping me to become a better person, enriching me and patronizing me to stay in the right path. God, I thank you for this blessing You've provided me.

Other thing that also help me feel content is the job that I'm having at the moment. Although I'm still figuring out many things, I can at least try to enjoy my work, especially when my Boz and Supervisors provided me a supportive environment to perform as best as I could. Being rewarded with trust and respect within only a short period of working time for them is really surprising. I'm happy for the great treatment, though on the other hand I see it as a burden since I should not disappoint them or misuse the privileges for my personal interests. The temptation is huuugggeee, but thank God I can still manage to fight it.

Last but not least is my family and a place that I can call a home. Without them, I believe I can't be where I am right now. Thank you mom, thank you dad for the lessons and the way you've raised me. Although I'm still naughty and disobedient, I always keep your advice in my mind and heart and always try my best not to disappoint you guys. Believe me when I say this, I love you both although it's hard for me to show/say it out loud due to some barriers established between us. Yeah, I do love you guys.

In d end, I can say that Happiness is a state of emotion someone earns through hard works and by making lots of efforts which in the end could boost up the motivation to live a life. Without it, one would be miserable and confused.

As for now, my one quest that I gotta conquer is to find the Love of my life. I believe when the right time comes, that person will show up. And I do hope by that time I'm gonna be ready to embrace it. I'm tired of hoping and expecting too much. I'm sick of uncertainties, and playing games is not my thing. As for now, I can settle being by my own... I will be waiting for my REAL bright, shining ★ that is meant for me...

Take care Champ, I will talk to you soon enough you won't notice that I'm gone...

I know you love me,

Xoxo,

Cho

"Take a chance & take a risk in everything you do. It may not be as unstable as you thought. Take a step back and admire what you've done because in the end, it might be worth it. And if it's not, you learned a lesson in life and you will have grown wiser. So live your life without regrets, take chances and risks, and see how far you can fly"

An Evolution

The fallen angel has evolved
The angel is now flying without wings
That bright shining ★ showed some mercy;
showered the angel with some stardust

Will the angel survive?
Will the angel fall back down?
Only time will tell...

Continuing Life

Hey Champ... what's up?

Again, I'm still doing my habit of leaving you off my news for quite some time.. I'm sorry. It's just I haven't found any urge to write ANYTHING and there's no driver I could find to boost up my mood to write.

Don't worry though, you're not the only one I've been abandoned. I've also been abandoning my other writing task, although it's actually urgent and important since it relates with my future. But, yeah, when I'm stucked and clouded with hatred towards the cause of my prolonged task, I became neglectful about the task and all other chores and errands and turned into such a procrastinator. What a quality I have, eh Champ? *sarcastic mode: very OONNN...

However, I still need to finish the task (no matter what) and still have to put my best-est effort to get the best grade I could achieve. Well, starting today, I'm counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds left before another submission. Friends and foes have heard about the detailed story on this prolonged task and I can't bear telling (and even writing) the story here. It's just too much. The bottom line is, I've become a legend (whether it's good or not, it depends on the angle the viewers chose to see), I broke a record and I set the bar high (to some people).

Anyway, life goes on, I gotta continue my life despite what's been happening with me. I dare to say that mostly, I learn through a hard way in every lesson of my life:

• learning that earning a degree is not as easy as how others (who are fortunate enough) earn it; HUGE rocks and DEEP holes might come in the way,
• learning that it is best not to mix friendship with business or any work-related task just out of feeling bad because I can not help (ASAS TIDAK ENAK HATI),
• learning that no matter what I gotta prioritize my own future and be stern about it,
• learning that in every work-related task, I should be stern with my limit and turn it into a professional circumstances,
• learning that when other expect me to be professional, I should have the courage to ask the same thing from them,
• learning that it is best to say no when I know I might not be able to cope with the high expectations, although disappointment from the other party will come afterwards,
• learning that I should have a brave heart when others give me a not-so-good treatment,
  
• learning that however perfect I might think my work is, God is involved and He has His own plan that I cannot understand but I should have faith that He has His own reason for whatever outcome and that it will lead into something good in His own time,
• learning that He is beyond my comprehension and thus I should fully rely and surrender in Him in whatever I do and never forget to pray and involve Him in my life,
• learning that I should be grateful with my journey so far and take all of the lessons as blessings to bring out my best potential
  

The clock is ticking now and something big is waiting for me. I should scratch procrastination, laziness, being upset, moddy, and whining from my vocabulary and replace all of them with all of the antonym that could be found and reach for my best future. A quantum leap is waiting and I cannot afford losing another chance... So, in summary: deadline, here I come....!!!

*sigh, what a relieve talking to you Champ. Gotta go now, got a tight schedule and please wish me the best of Luck... may God bless me and be with me to guide my steps.

You know I love you,

xoxo,

Cho


hungry mode: on, healthy diet mode: on - what an irony

Anxcious... Worried...

Hey Champ... waddup?

It's been such a long time since the last time I met you. How's everything? Hope all is good, all is in place.

Many things have been going on since my last job at that secretariat. I tried not to accept any work offer, planning to focus on my final paper (which is due in less than a week from now) in order to really excel and get the best grade I could achieve. However, an offer (or perhaps a favor request) from a long-time-no-see friend (I actually see her as an older sista') to assist her in preparing an off-air event made me fall from what I have decided. She has a power to persuade people.. LoL. I think that's the nature of marketing people.

The only reason I accepted the offer was because she is a good friend of mine, and (I believe you would do this too to your friends, Champ) when a friend is in need and asking help, off course you would help 'em, right? Moreover, we've made some agreement that I would still able to do my final paper and that the work load could be done part-timely and I don't have to be at the office everyday. I really-really accepted the offer not because of the money or any other reward. That's not what I have in mind, although some friends kept telling me to be professional and have everything written on paper. Well, for me, it's not the case when you're helping a friend. I sincerely do it not for money.

Along the way, as a snowball rolling down from the top of a snowy hill, the load becomes bigger and there's always a new task added to my load (a little bit of exaggeration here..). And it all happens as the dateline to submit my thesis is approaching, while I still have a whole 2 chapters to write and I gotta be ready to revise my previously submitted three chapters. I may look reluctant and hesitant when I was given those new tasks, and it's all because I grew worried and anxious that I won't make it this time to submit my thesis, that I would fail again for the second time. Yes, I'm worried, I'm afraid, I feel guilty for not focusing and putting my best effort on my thesis.

Many resources have been spent for this second chance. Many favors have been asked to help me got this second chance. Many opportunities have been trashed only because I haven't been graduated. I owe many people a lot and I don't wanna create another one. Sigh...

Because of this growing anxiety, I always feel bad if I even try to have fun in life. Friends asking me to hang out, watching a movie together, spend weekends together... and I always bail them out (on the exception for my Hepi Gank, since I could still became autistic doing my thesis and on the other hand, the weekend getaway was already planned for a month). Sigh... I would feel this miserable until I finally submit my thesis on June 18th. Although it doesn't mean I'm done there. I still have to prepare my defense: the speech and presentation and get attacked by the examinee. Yeah, I don't allow myself to enjoy life as of this moment.

But, the good thing that I could at least enjoy was a new experience I was given by helping my friend/sista' in that radio station office. I finally able to perform my talking ability as a radio announcer, although my status right now is a guest-host (another office-political situation, LoL). Yeah, at least I can enjoy that task. A task where I could give my best and shout what I have in mind out loud.

Gosh, time flies real fast when you do enjoy whatever you do. And I can't believe it's already this late. Gotta go to continue my paper, Champ. Talk to you another time, ok?

you know I love you,


xoxo,


Cho


104.2 FM, Monday night, 10 PM, Guy's Talk

All in One Day

Hey Champ... what's up?

I hope you're doing fine, safe and sound as always.

Yesterday (since it's already 12:42 in the morning already) was really an interesting day. Many things happened and I also made some accomplishment and I'm loving my activities that I had yesterday.

Woke up earlier than usual in the morning, I got ready and left to work. On my way to the office, I made a stop at a tax office in order to make NPWP (Nomor Penduduk Wajib Pajak, similar with Social Security Number in the USA). It took me only around fifteen minutes from parking Buddy until I sat back on Buddy. I only had to fill out a form which asked my personal information, wait for the officer to call my name and give me my NPWP card, which looks like a credit card. Yeay! Now I can go abroad without paying fiscal fee, and Sigh... now I have to file SPT (Surat Pajak Tahunan, annual tax report) once every year although I'm only a freelancer. Yep, you wanna get your rights, you gotta do your obligation.

Anyway, off I went to my office, where I mostly revised and revised and revised and revised and revised my questionnaire for my thesis research (since there were nothing much to do at the office other than waiting for Ms. P to come. We're almost done in preparing disbandment report and presentation). I coordinated through phone calls and emails with my thesis supervisor, who is a very kind, warm-hearted and a very supportive lecturer, about changes needs to be made. And, voila.. by the time I left the office, I was ready with my near-to-perfect questionnaire.

During the office hour, I asked for a leave-time for about 30 minutes to complete my passport renewal at an immigration office in Mampang (It took me only 15 minutes to go there riding Transjakarta). There, I met a friend of my colleague who helped the passport-renewal process to become easier and went straight to the photo/interview room. It took me only 15 minutes to finish everything and I didn't have to wait for long. How nice it was to have someone to help me dealing with governmental bureaucracy, especially at the immigration office (I was once performing the process by myself, and it was such a waste of time and energy and resources. It's better to pay someone for his service in taking care of our documents). And, voila, I can take my passport on Tuesday.

When I arrived back at the office, Ms. P decided to release us earlier. It was near 4 PM and I was so very happy that all I could think of was to make arrangement with people and friends in the evening: advancing a meeting that was supposed to be at 7 PM and went to watch WOLVERINE with some good friends of mine.

The meeting I had before watching Wolverine finally made some clearance on some thoughts and expectation which made me able to consider one of my option clearly. On the other hand, the movie was great. It was such a breath of fresh air among the lousy movies in Indonesian cinemas at the moment.

After the movie, I and my friends decided to hang out for a while; where I took the opportunity to ask them to fill out my questionnaires (I call it a market-test, LoL) in order to provide me feedback on things/instructions that confuse them, any ambiguous or questionable aspects, obstacles that tackle them in answering the questions and finding any tricks to make the questionnaire looks more appealing and friendly to the respondent. And voila, I got lots of constructive criticism to (again) make some revision before I finally distribute to 300 respondents. What an accomplishment, right Champ?

Afterward, we went our separate ways, some left to continue watching movies at another cinema, and some left for home. We waved goodbye and went our own ways. When I was already in the parking lot, I realized that my folder which contains my questionnaire and all the key points for revision was left at the restaurant... Off me back to the restaurant and took my belongings which the waiters had kept for me (thanks, guys).

On my way back, I met some other friends from previous work that I did on musical event. This coincidence meeting occured in the basement-level of the building. Then, when I was in the first-level floor, I met one of my colleague from my recently previous work at 5th WIEF. Having met those people, I catched up and updated with them any recent stories and work updates. To me, it was really refreshing and fun to be able to meet them, although it was only for few minutes; but it meant so much to me.

And finally I went home riding my Buddy, realizing that I made some accomplishment in my life for today: questionnaires, job offer clarity, traveling documents, meeting with good friends

Now I know...

I think I'm waaaayyy over with my melodramatic mood. I think I know why I acted that way and now I'm learning how to cope with it, how to deal with it with many helps my beloved people showed me, though perhaps they don't realize how they did it. I just feel lucky to be where I am at the moment.

I feel lucky to have people who loves me
I feel lucky to have people whom I can care about
I feel lucky to have people whom I can love
I feel lucky with the wonderful ride of my life

When I feel lucky, I feel happy
When I feel happy, all I can think of is people I care the most;
Wanting to share my happiness with them,
wanting them to feel what I feel
Though I realize I can't want them to be by my side all the time

Yeah, I think that's the essence of loving. When you love something or someone, you can't turn what you love into your possession 'coz nothing and no one wants to be possessed. Instead, you should be able to let them be free and be what they want to be, especially if they're living creatures.

Yeah, I'm so lucky...
God, please let this feeling stays
Love you...

"Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying

Boy I hear you in my dreams
I feel your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

...

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, feel the air
I'll put a flower in your hair

Though the breezes through the trees
Move so pretty you're all I see
As the world keeps spinning 'round
You hold me right here right now"


(lyrics: Lucky by Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat)

A nEw Era, A New Chapter

This is a very new chapter in my life...
Adding someone special as a part of it...

I do hope things will work out
As I learn many things from the relationship


...


Thank You God

Thursday, August 21st 2008

Yeah..
Thursday...
August 21st 2008...

One of the best day in my life..
The day I will never forget in my life...

There are too many to mention
Too many to be kept as secrets
Yet I wanna shout it out loud to the world

Let the walls be the silent witness

My Peaceful Day

To be honest, this is the first time I really enjoy my time spent at home, resting in a quiet and peaceful environment... My parents went shopping, my sister went out vacationing, my brother went out with friends... and It's all me (with a maid), myself and I...

Finally I can really appreciate free times at home after being coped with (quite easy) office tasks on my intern for a month and a half. Thank God I insisted for a 2-months term only (although I'm still figuring out what am I gonna do for the rest of another free month before semester begins).

I begin to get used to office-workers/commuter lifestyle. During the weekdays: Wake up in the morning, get ready, go to work, work hardly (or at least try hardly to work... hihi... we are the party animals... =D), deal with people at work (either with the bitchy or the nice, warm and friendly one), lunch with colleagues (inside or outside office), get back to work after lunch, continue to work (hardly), hit the gym (or shower only.. haha), sign-out and continue my activities at night (if any, such as choir) and finally go home to get some sleep and rest. During the weekends: Life is all about me, my family and my friends.

The most important thing is that I am able to share my life... life at home, life at work, life with family, life with friends and, off course, personal life... with someone else who cares about me although we are parted by distance. Wish we could see each other more often... Fly me up to where you are beyond the distant star, I wish upon tonight to see you smile... If only for a while, to know you're there.. A breath away's not far to where you are... Sigh... Mellow me... (it's the song from which I became hypnotized with the singer's voice ever since I hear it the first time on TV. Now, it's even more memorable 'coz of someone...)

Yet, I still have a report from work to finish before Monday and another report for competition with some campus friends to be done by at least Monday (if i'm not mistaken... tell me guys) and to add it up, another report for Student Committee that has been waiting to be finished since a long, long, long... yes, long... long, very loooooonnggg time ago...

Sigh.. how could I enjoy today and tomorrow? Well... We'll see if Procrastinate me will show up or hide behind the Dilligent me. Oh.. and one thing to make the datelines even stricter ... I'm leaving for a one-week vacation on this coming Monday night... and planning not to bring any works with me. Thank to my boss who let me go for a 4-days off vacation and pay those days off back by extending my days at work without extending the intern contract term.

My oh my.... How can I not thank Lord Jesus for this life He gives me...

You'll Never Walk Alone.... Count your blessings one by one

God has been good to me

Yes, indeed, He has been good to me all this time. Deep inside my heart, I always know it for sure, but I keep taking everything for granted and did not put a lot of thought to it until my good friend mentioned it to me, commenting that my life at the current situation has finally becoming better and that good things has been happening in my life lately.

I was once in the lowest point I've ever felt in my life. Thank God, I still have family, best friend and few friends who did not turn their back, believing in me and supporting me to climb up the stairs, encouraging me to see the beauty of life by being able to survive.

After all those hard times, now I can stand at the point where I'm able to see life at a new perspective and hope. I still have families and that is one blessing I should really appreciate and be thankful of. I still have a best friend who always stand by my side no matter what people say, no matter what the price was for my friend. I still have someone who is willing to be a mentor and make friendship with me, from whom I learned many things and to be blunt a bit. I gained new friends who can at least see things with an objective view. All these took some hard time, a really-really hard and hurting one, which was worth the outcome and the pain.

The journey, from which I was able to overcome, has turned me back into one with positive attitude, a person with hope and some experience towards people's bad behavior. With that in mind and heart, I was able to look for opportunities and chances which lie ahead for my future sake.

I just recently got accepted as an intern in a company which has been declaring its legacy in Indonesia for 75 years (thank God). Although I was expecting to be placed in a marketing-strategy related division, I did not complaint when I was assigned into their CSR Department, assisting the Public Health & Education Program Manager, since experience and networking was all I wanted for now.

The company was one of a company who cares about its employees and pampers them by providing facilities beyond expectation and I was very lucky to have the privilege in using them: meals which can be traded with consumer goods, lenient but responsible working hour, flexible working days since I still have classes on campus, wide selection of newspapers on every single floor, pantry with its goodies and most importantly: fitness center and sauna. Yeay!!!

For the record, I've been holding myself not to enroll in any fitness center, although the temptation was very huge, by telling myself "It's not yet the time." In the end, God has made my wish came through. I can now exercise in a fitness center without paying a single penny. My Lord Jesus really answers His people wish although they did not ask for it. Not to mention the 16 GB iphone I got from an uncle few days ago. God knows I've been holding myself for quite some time not to buy a new cell phone but instead always using old ones I got from my sister. Yet, He knows I've been considering and hoping for an iphone ever since it was launched in the States (I was there...).

What my friend mentioned about progress that happens in my life just made me believe that I'll never walk alone and that there's a golden sky at the end of a storm. Indeed, now I believe that there's always a rainbow after a rain (although I barely see one in Jakarta).